Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
