I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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