69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She even gives head with a lisp.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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