doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
