NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
