just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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