I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
