We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
