More tranny stories later!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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