dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
