Im at strip club and am horny
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
