the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
