well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
