Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
