if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
