Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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