I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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