Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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