guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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