Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
