so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
