is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
