Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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