I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
