we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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