they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
