Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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