Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
