It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
