i was rollin on her like bob the builder
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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