I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
