never play flip cup with pint glasses
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
