I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
