At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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