Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
