LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
