yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
