...so i touched it.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
