I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
His nipple licking is glorious
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