chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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