Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
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The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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