it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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