Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
