Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
