I would go down on you faster than GM stock
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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