Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
