I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
