That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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