he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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