K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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