Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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