I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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